1
Swear off social media for a week, but then realize you have no idea how to tell people what you had for lunch without it.
2
Resolve to become a master chef by successfully nuking a frozen pizza without turning it into a charcoal frisbee.
3
Promise to hit the gym regularly, but interpret "gym" as the acronym for "Get Yourself More" snacks.
4
Commit to becoming a morning person, but only after inventing a coffee maker that dispenses caffeine intravenously.
5
Vow to meditate daily, even if it's just sitting quietly in the closet to avoid your family for a few minutes.
6
Decide to embrace minimalism, starting with your collection of 137 novelty coffee mugs.
7
Pledge to read a book a week, beginning with mastering the fine print on your phone's terms and conditions.
8
Plan to save money by switching to a cash-only diet – until you realize that cash doesn't earn you any credit card points.
9
Promise to be more spontaneous, as soon as you finish scheduling your spontaneity calendar.
10
Vow to learn a musical instrument, preferably one that doesn't require batteries or make your neighbors contemplate moving.
11
Commit to eco-friendly practices by recycling all the junk food wrappers into a decorative collage.
12
Swear off online shopping, but then remember that your cart is still waiting for you from last year.
13
Resolve to be more patient, especially in traffic, by mastering the art of serenading other drivers with your car horn.
14
Decide to start a podcast about your daily adventures, even if the most exciting thing that happens is finding matching socks.
15
Promise to take up a new hobby, like extreme napping or competitive binge-watching – because you're a pro at those already.