100+ Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes, Jokes and Messages

Valentine’s Day gives a festive to combine romance with creative celebration ways having the touch of fun and humor. Funny wishes can be a great source of making the mood light and giving a happy start to this splendid eve.

Here you will find a diverse collection of funny Valentine’s Day wishes, quotes, and messages that can be used to make these special moments attractive.

1. Roses are red, violets are blue, happy Valentine’s Day…I guess I have to stick with you!

2. We go together like peas and carrots…except I actually like peas and carrots. Happy Valentine’s Day!

3. Thanks for being my player 2. Happy Valentine’s Day!

4. I love you like Kanye loves Kanye. Happy Valentine’s Day!

5. You make my heart beat faster than my student loans are accumulating interest. Be my Valentine?

1. We’re the perfect pair – I’ll be the beauty and you can be my beast. Happy Valentine’s Day!

2. I’m sequencing my DNA for you so you can see that we’re a perfect genetic match. Happy Valentine’s Day!

3. I must be infected with love sickness, because I’ve got all the symptoms with you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

4. You had me at “free food.” Will you be my Valentine?

5. Let’s commit the perfect crime – I’ll steal your last name, you steal my heart. Happy Valentine’s Day!

6. If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine. Happy Valentine’s Day!

7. You sweep me off my feet…then again, so does the flu. Wanna be my quarantine buddy?

8. I’m not a hoarder, but I really want to keep you forever. Be my Valentine?

9. Are you secretly Michelangelo? Because you look like a masterpiece. Happy Valentine’s Day!

10. You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge. Be my Valentine?

11. If you were a Disney prince, you’d be Fine-a-dine. Happy Valentine’s Day!

12. Forget the butterflies, you give me the entire zoo. Happy Valentine’s Day!

13. You had me at “I’ll pay for dinner.” Happy Valentine’s Day!

14. Let’s skip the roses and chocolates and go straight for French fries. Happy Valentine’s Day!

15. I’m having some trouble with my phone. Could you try giving me your number?

16. My love for you burns brighter than my burning hatred for burpees. Happy Valentine’s Day!

17. Let our love story be like High School Musical so we can dance on the golf course to show our feelings. Happy Valentine’s Day!

18. You make my heart skip a beat. Or that could just be the arrhythmia. Happy Valentine’s Day!

19. I love loving you, but I hate feeling feelings. Happy Valentine’s Day!

20. My heart beats for only you…mainly because if it stopped beating, I’d be dead. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes and Wishes for Singles:

The individuals not in a relationship have a different feeling for this day and enjoy the atmosphere in their unique ways. Here are some funny Valentine’s Day Wishes for singles:

1. “I may be single this Valentine’s Day, but at least no one can break my heart…except for myself when I eat an entire box of chocolates.”

2. “Roses are red, violets are blue, wine is cheaper than dinner for two.”

3. “Valentine’s Day? More like Singles Awareness Day if you ask me!”

4. “Netflix and chill is my kind of date today.”

5. “Alexa, play ‘I Will Survive.'”

1. “What’s another word for ‘forever alone’?”

2. “If loving chocolate and wine is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

3. “My standards are so high this Valentine’s Day I’ll be lucky if I can date myself.”

4. “This Valentine’s Day I choose me…and Ben and Jerry.”

5. “I don’t have a Valentine, so I’m going to wear red and throw things at happy couples.”

6. “Lonely? Not me. I have a whole pint of ice cream to keep me company.”

7. “All the good ones are taken. Guess I’ll eat all the candy.”

8. “Sit next to me if you’re single on Valentine’s Day… like seriously, I need friends.”

9. “Who needs roses when Rosé exists?”

10. “Finally a day dedicated to what I do best – avoid relationships.”

11. “Will you be my Valentine? Hold that thought while I lower my standards.”

12. “This year I’m identifying as a S.I.N.G.L.E – Strong Independent Person who Needs Growth Love and Everything.”

13. “Roses are red, violets are blue, being single on Valentine’s Day sucks but I’m getting through.”

14. “Love bites. So do I. Gently, when asked.”

15. “I put the SINGLE in Valentine’s Day.”

1. “Today’s forecast: 100% chance of wine.”

2. “If crazy is single on Valentine’s Day, I guess I’m insane.”

3. “My anti-Valentine’s Day party has amazing plus-ones: Ben and Jerry.”

4. “This Valentine’s Day I’m loving me and not leaving me.”

5. “Oh look it’s Valentine’s Day, said no single ever.”

6. “Single? Oh honey no, I’m not single. I’m self-partnered.”

7. “All you need is love. And a glass of wine. Okay, mostly the wine.”

8. “Roses are red, violets are blue, being single is fun, and cheaper too.”

9. “I don’t need a Valentine, I love me.”

10. “This Valentine’s Day I manifested being by myself.”

Funny Valentine’s Day Messages for Couples:

Couples enjoy the real essence of this day because every single thing around them is filled with the colors and theme of Valentine’s Day. On top of this, the spice of some funny and humorous greetings can add to the taste of this day. Below is the bundle of some funny Valentine’s Day wishes for couples:

1. Thanks for stealing my heart! Don’t forget our anniversary is coming up soon wink wink

2. I must have done something good to deserve someone as wonderful as you. Can you remind me what that was again?

3. They say love is blind, so I guess that’s why you’re dating me! Happy Valentine’s Day!

4. Our love is like dividing by zero – it doesn’t make sense, but it still works!

5. To my not-so-secret admirer: be my Valentine…again?

1. You have stolen my heart like I’ve stolen your last name…hopefully you’ll let me keep both longer!

2. The only thing sweeter than this box of chocolates is you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

3. We go together like avocados and everything. Be my main squeeze?

4. I love us together! Well, “love” is a strong word, let’s say I strongly tolerate you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

5. As Marie Kondo would say – you spark joy! Wanna keep sparks flying with me?

6. Through corny jokes and cheesy puns, will you still be my Valentine, hun?

7. I knew Tinder could work – case in point, we match perfectly!

8. Our love is Netflix – I could binge you forever! Happy Valentine’s Day!

9. You had me at “pizza and cuddle?” Be my Valentine!

10. We fit together like two extremely co-dependent pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. How romantic? Happy Valentine’s Day!

11. I’d face every Dementor in Azkaban for one kiss from you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

12. Now I ain’t sayin’ you’re a gold digger, you ain’t messin’ with no broke…Valentine?

13. They say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only catch for me!

14. My heart beats for only you…and also when I drink too much caffeine. Happy Valentine’s Day!

15. Let’s have a cheesy Valentine’s Day together! After all, we’re so GOUDA at loving each other!

1. If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine to me. Happy Valentine’s Day!

2. Every day I fall in love with you more and more, but please stop asking me to prove it by jumping off cliffs.

3. You’re hotter than a freshly microwaved Hot Pocket! Be my Valentine?

4. Are you sitting on the F5 key? Cause your booty is refreshing!

5. You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it. Happy Valentine’s Day!

6. The only thing I like more than other people’s drama is you. Be my Valentine?

7. Ever wanna run away together and join the circus? Well I do, so let’s do it!

8. Our love is like the universe – ever-growing and full of galaxies no one understands. Happy Valentine’s Day!

9. You can’t spell Valentine’s Day without U and I!

10. Love me. Love you. Love us. Happy V-Day!

11. Girlfriends/Boyfriends are temporary, but our irrational love for each other is forever!

12. The only exercise I enjoy is a good lift of your spirits. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

13. I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye! Happy Valentine’s Day boo!

14. I choose you, Valentine! Gotta date ’em all!

15. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes for Him:

The welcome of the day with some amusing greetings will nicely settle his mood and make the start of his day special. Below is a collection of some funny Valentine’s Day greetings for him:

1. What did the firefighter give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A fire extinguisher!

2. Why did the football player give his girlfriend a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day? It was a good catch!

3. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche!

4. Why can’t E.T. ever find love on Valentine’s Day? He’s looking for someone out of this world!

5. What did the sword give to his love on Valentine’s Day? A stab at romance!

6. Why are frogs always single on Valentine’s Day? They only know how to mingle!

7. What did the drummer name his girlfriend? Anna One, Anna Two!

8. How did the pirate greet his wife on Valentine’s Day? Ahoy, matey!

9. What did the bookmark say to the librarian on Valentine’s Day? “I find you very a-peeling!”

10. Why was the math book sad on Valentine’s Day? He had too many problems!

1. What did the drill sergeant give his crush on Valentine’s Day? Ten hut!

2. Why can’t a leopard hide his love away? Because he’s always spotted!

3. What did the taxi driver give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a cab!

4. Why did Robin run away on Valentine’s Day? Batman kept robin’ him!

5. What did the laundry man give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Lots of detergent!

6. Why was the shoelace mad on Valentine’s Day? He felt tied down!

7. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

8. What did the traffic light say to his love? “My dear, you stop me in my tracks!”

9. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day so much? They’re very scent-imental creatures!

10. What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

11. Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? It’s two tired!

12. What did the sweatshirt give his girlfriend? A big hug!

13. Why don’t mummies do well on Valentine’s Day? They’re too wrapped up in themselves!

14. What musical instrument is best to love? A trom-bone!

15. What did the laundry detergent give his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day? Tide and true love!

Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes and Messages for Her:

The start of a day marked by some funny message can make her day extra special because this message can put her tensions aside. Here are some funny Valentine’s Day messages for her available on our website:

1. What did the ribbon give his girlfriend? A big bow!

2. Why didn’t the glasses go out on Valentine’s Day? He already had a date!

3. What did the stamp say to his crush? I’m stuck on you!

4. What did the belt say to the hat? “You go on ahead, I’ll just hang around here.”

5. What did the cat say to his feline Valentine? You’re paw-fect!

6. Why don’t birds fly off on Valentine’s Day? Because they have a nest together!

7. What did the drum say to his girlfriend? My heart beats for you!

8. What does the Earth say to the other planets on Valentine’s Day? I love you to the moon and back!

9. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive!

10. Why did the picture frame blush? It saw the painting nude!

1. Why can’t a leopard hide his love away? Because he’s always spotted!

2. What musical instrument is the best to love? A trom-bone!

3. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!

4. What did the girl squirrel say to her crush? I’m nuts about you!

5. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

6. Why did Sue fall on a pile of leaves? Because she was caught raking!

7. What’s the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!

8. Why can February march? Because it can Feb!

9. What has T in the beginning, T in the end, but nothing in the middle? A teapot!

10. What runs all around a backyard without moving? A fence!

1. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam!

2. Because it was well bread!

3. How do trees access the internet? They just log on!

4. What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!

5. What starts with “E” and ends with “E” but only has one letter? An envelope!

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes:

Quotes despite being simple words provide a deep and lasting message which can influence your mood throughout the day. Here are some funny Valentine’s Day quotes available on our website:

1. “This Valentine’s Day, I want you to know that you’re in my thoughts no matter how far apart we are. You must be tired from running through my mind all night.”

2. “We’re a perfect pair- I’ll be the beauty and you be my beast this Valentine’s Day.”

3. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, so if you don’t have a date, you can make eyes at me.”

4. “Are you a parked car? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you. Be my Valentine?”

5. “They say dating is a numbers game… so can I get your number?”

6. “I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

7. “Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.”

8. “It’s Valentine’s Day – wanna skip all that mushy romantic stuff and just order pizza?”

9. “This Valentine’s Day, I wanna Netflix and chill, for real.”

10. “If you were a Transformer, you’d be ‘Optimus Fine’.”

1. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”

2. “Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.”

3. “Do you know CPR? Because you are taking my breath away!”

4. “Apart from being sexy, what else do you do for a living?”

5. “There must be something wrong with my eyes – I can’t take them off of you.”

6. “I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.”

7. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

8. “Are you chocolate? Because you melt me.”

9. “Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day.”

10. “When I look into your eyes, I see my future wife.”

1. “Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.”

2. “You’re so beautiful you made me forget my next pickup line.”

3. “I must be in a museum because you’re a masterpiece.”

4. “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.”

5. “Aside from being sexy, what else do you do for a living?”

6. “Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?”

7. “I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”

8. “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

9. “I thought happiness started with an ‘H’… but it turns out mine starts with ‘U’.”

10. “I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.”

How to Use These Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes and Messages with Everyone to Have Fun:

These wishes can be used in multiple ways but here are some ways to utilize these wishes:

1. Send a Valentine’s Day card to your partner with a silly wish inside to make them laugh.
2. Post a funny Valentine’s Day wish on social media to give your friends a laugh
3. Create Valentine’s Day memes with funny wishes and post them online
4. Write funny Valentine’s Day captions for your Instagram photos.
5. Email a funny Valentine’s Day with these funny wishes on an e-card to your long-distance partner and friends.

Valentine’s Day is not only dedicated to making serious moments and expressing love but also to flirting and making some funny moments with your loved ones. This can change the mood in seconds and fade away the depressive memories from their mind allowing them to enjoy the day at its peak.